Where are the hamhams?
by PatrickRox80
Summary: The ham-hams have been captured! How will they escape? P. S. This is my first crack at making a fanfic. Don't flame me!


There are two fan-made ham-hams in this story.  
  
PatrickRox80 (Me)  
  
Mousy (Based on a character on ham-ham kingdom forums)  
  
Where are the Ham-hams?  
  
Boss: Where are they?(he is standing in front of the clubhouse waiting for Bijou, Hamtaro, and Oxnard to come.)Bijou? Oxnard? Hamtaro??(Goes in the clubhouse)  
  
I guess we'll have to start the hike without them.  
  
Ham-hams: What??  
  
Dexter: But we never start anything without them!  
  
Sandy: Yeah, Boss. We need to wait a little longer. (There is a knock on the door)  
  
Maxwell: Who is it?(No answer)  
  
Boss: Identify yourself?(No answer)  
  
Ham-hams: WHO ARE YOU??(No answer)  
  
Boss: Ah.(approaches the door)  
  
Howdy: I don't know, Boss. It might be a giant chipmunk with an attitude, a black eye, and 3 acorns in his mouth.(Boss opnes the door, and there is a giant chipmunk with an attitude, one black eye, and 3 acorns in his mouth)  
  
Howdy: Oh, I hate it when I'm right...  
  
Chipmunk: Hello, losers.(Chipmunk bursts into room, and smashes the table)  
  
Panda: Hey! I worked hard on that! (Chipmunk punches Panda)   
  
Boss: You don't hurt my friends like that!  
  
Chipmunk: Hey how about a game of hide and seek!(Ham-hams hide while he isn't looking)1, 2, 10!(All the ham-hams are hiding behind the slide)  
  
Maxwell: (very softly)Whatever you do, DON'T MAKE A SOUND!  
  
Chipmunk: Now where could they be...  
  
Pashmina: (Thinking) Heaven, save us...  
  
Chipmunk: (gets a bag) I bet everyone would like this...  
  
Boss: (thinking) I wish Hamtaro was here...  
  
Chipmunk: (Approaches slide, the ham-hams shiver with fear) AHA!! (Jumps on slide, therefore, squashing our heros) I knew I'd find you! HA! HA! HA! (Puts ham-hams in bag, leaves a note, then exits clubhouse.)  
  
Ham-hams: (While in bag) HELP!! WE'VE BEEN HAM-NAPPED  
  
Chipmunk: QUIET! (Punches bag)  
  
Stan & Sandy: Oooww. (Another chipmunk is waiting for them there)  
  
Chipmunk 2: You got 'em?  
  
Chipmunk: Yeah! Let's go!  
  
(Meanwhile)  
  
Laura: I'll be sleeping over at Conna's today.  
  
Laura's mom: okay  
  
(Laura leaves and brings Hamtaro with her)  
  
Hamtaro: Hamha Oxnard.  
  
Oxnard: Hamha  
  
(Hamtaro and Oxnard go to the clubhouse and don't see the hamhams anywhere)  
  
Hamtaro: Where are they? Didn't we get here on time?  
  
(Hamtaro and Oxnard hear crying from a tree branch)  
  
Oxnard: Is anybody up there?  
  
Bijou: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!  
  
Hamtaro: What's wrong Bijou?  
  
Bijou: The..hamhams....h...have been hamnapped! All I found was this note.  
  
Hamtaro: Did you read the note?  
  
Bijou: It says:  
  
"Dear fellow ham-butt,  
  
We have your friends hostage. If you want to see them alive, you must come to fish alley.  
  
P.S. From the way we kidnapped your friends, we've realized you're such fraidy-hams you won't even bother to go there!"  
  
Oxnard: OH NO!! Anywere but fish alley!  
  
Bijou: That place is full of cats.  
  
All three: Kushi-kushi...  
  
(they hear a groan and Mousy comes falling out of a closet)  
  
Oxnard: (screams) They killed mousy!  
  
Mousy: Where am I?  
  
Bijou: Mousy? You're alive?  
  
Mousy: Yeah, I was just knocked out and stuffed in a closet.  
  
Hamtaro: Did you see the ham-hams get captured?  
  
Mousy: Not alot, but all I know is that we have until sunset 2 find them.  
  
Bijou: Sunset? (faints)  
  
Hamtaro: Ok. Let's go!  
  
(They drag Bijou out and start walking)  
  
Ham-hams: Ticky-ticky-ticky.  
  
Hamtaro: Hey! Look! (They see an acorn in the middle of the path)  
  
Oxnard: I just remembered, I haven't had anything to eat since I left Conna's! (Runs toward acorn.)  
  
PatrickRox80: (From out of nowhere) Stop!  
  
Oxnard: What?  
  
PatrickRox80: You never know what will happen if you pick that up. It could be a trap! Let me demonstrate. (Picks up a stick, and throws it at the acorn. There is a giant trap door dug underneath the acorn. The stick falls with it.)  
  
Oxnard: Whoa! Thanks! (Bijou wakes up)  
  
Bijou: Where am I?  
  
Hamtaro: We're going to fish alley to rescue our friends!  
  
PatrickRox80: I dread that place.  
  
(An hour later)  
  
Oxnard: I'm getting tired. (Stops and rests near a tree)  
  
Bijou: Look out!  
  
Oxnard: Wha...! (A cat comes out of a bush and puts Oxnard in one of the bags that some of the hamhams are in)  
  
Oxnard: There you guys are! Maybe I can eat this. Pakapaka (Chews a hole in the bag and Panda, him, Pashmina, Penelope, Dexter, and Stan fall out)  
  
Stan: Dude...where are we?  
  
Oxnard: Well I know Hamtaro and Bijou are around here some where.  
  
(Hamtaro and Bijou run down the tree they were hiding in)  
  
Pashmina: At least we are out of that bag!It was getting my scarf dirty.  
  
Dexter: We still have to save the rest of them.  
  
Hamtaro: To Fish alley!  
  
Penelope: Ookwee!  
  
Ham-hams: Ticky-ticky-ticky  
  
(Another hour later)  
  
Mousy: Are we there yet?  
  
Hamtaro: No.  
  
Mousy: Are we there yet?  
  
Bijou: No.  
  
Mousy: Are we there yet?  
  
Patrick: No!  
  
Mousy: Are we there yet?  
  
Oxnard: NO!!!! (punches Mousy)  
  
Mousy: Oh... (faints)  
  
Panda: Look what you did to my wife! (throws oxnard)  
  
Oxnard: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! (star glows where he landed)  
  
Stan: (steps on a rock) Uh-oh! (the ham-hams fall in a trap door)  
  
Me and Mousy: Whoa! (Don't fall in trap)  
  
Dexter: Well, this is inconvenient.  
  
Patrick: Uh, don't worry we'll get you out!  
  
Pashmina: But, this hole's at least 20 feet deep!  
  
Penelope: Ookwee!  
  
Patrick: We didn't realize that.  
  
(Meanwhile)  
  
Oxnard: Ow. My leg. Hey! Lookie. I'm in Fish alley! It's not even noon, and I'm already in Fish Alley! Now, where is everybody?  
  
Boss: Hey! Oxie!  
  
Oxnard: Who said that?  
  
Howdy: Over here!(Boss, Howdy, Sandy, Cappy, and Maxwell are trapped in a cage in an alley)  
  
Oxnard: Hey guys. What's up?  
  
Boss: I'll tell you what's up! Some guy ham-napped us, and put us here.  
  
Maxwell: Now all we do is eat, sleep, and worry about our owners.  
  
Cappy: Kip bought me this neat hat, but I never thanked him.  
  
Sandy: This is really a bummer.  
  
Oxnard: Where are the cats?  
  
Boss: They don't come out until afternoon.  
  
Howdy: We have until sunset to live, then they let us out so we could get tortured by the cats.  
  
Oxnard: I wonder where Patrick and Mousy are?  
  
(back at the hole)  
  
Mousy: Almost got it!  
  
Patrick: Heeve!  
  
Ham-hams: (come flying out)  
  
Panda: (scartches his head) that was close  
  
Cat: Meow!  
  
Ham-hams: CAT!! AAAHH!! (run into a river)  
  
Cat: Water! (runs)  
  
Mousy: Wait. (gasps) Help! We're drowning!  
  
Ham-hams: Help!  
  
Brandy: (comes running) Bark!  
  
Hamtaro: Look! It's Brandy! Save us!  
  
Brandy: Bark! (rescues the ham-hams)  
  
Pashmina: (coughs) Ok, is everyone here?  
  
Bijou: I think so.  
  
Patrick: Wait, where's Mousy and Panda?  
  
Mousy and Panda: HELP!  
  
Stan: Holy cats!  
  
Dexter: They're drowning!  
  
Mousy: Guys! Help! (starts drowning, Panda goes down with her)  
  
(ten mins later)  
  
Hamtaro: Mousy? Panda? Wake up!  
  
Panda: Huh?  
  
Bijou: (taps mousy)  
  
Mousy: (raises her arms) We surrender!  
  
Patrick: Are you guys ok?  
  
Panda: I think, but who rescued us?  
  
Hamtaro: Not us, and brandy fell asleep after he rescued us.  
  
Mousy: Then who rescued me and Panda?  
  
Shadowy figure: I did.  
  
Patrick: All right. Who are you? (Shadowy figure reveals herself)  
  
Everyone: HARMONY??  
  
Harmony: Tee hee! That's my name!  
  
Everyone: (Looks at each other) HARMONY??  
  
Harmony: You got it again!  
  
Hamtaro: How did you?  
  
Harmony: I thought it would be a good idea to try out my new innertube my brother got me for Christmas! Oh, that's such a great holday...  
  
Patrick: Well, thanks for saving Panda's and Mousy's lives.  
  
(Meanwhile, Oxnard and Boss are trying to pull the bars of the cage open so he, Maxwell, Sandy, Cappy, and Howdy can escape.)  
  
Oxnard and Boss: Unnnngggghh!!  
  
Cappy: Forget it! It's just not going to work!  
  
Oxnard: You're right. Chukchuk  
  
Howdy: Man, how are we going to get out?  
  
Oxnard: I'll try to find the others. (Runs off) Badda-badda-badda... (a nearby clock strikes 3 p.m.)  
  
Boss: And hurry!  
  
(Back in the forest)  
  
Ham-hams: Ticky-ticky-ticky.  
  
Hamtaro: We must be getting close.  
  
Harmony: Wait! Hif-hif I smell sunflower seeds. Yes! (Sees 10 sunflower seeds in the path.)  
  
Patrick and Mousy: NO! DON'T!!  
  
Harmony: But, how could I resist on an empty stoma-(a net grabs her)AAAACK!!  
  
Ham-hams: Not again.  
  
Harmony: Let me out!  
  
Spat: Bwa-ha-ha-ha!!! (Runs and bumps into Hamtaro)  
  
Patrick: I should have known.  
  
Penelope: Ookwee!  
  
Pashmina: What have you got up your paw this time, Spat?  
  
Spat: I thought they caught you! Pfpth! My plan was working perfectly...  
  
Everyone: WHAT???  
  
Bijou: I can't believe it!  
  
Dexter: All this time, we've been tricked by Spat!!  
  
Spat: Say no more! Pfpfpthpth! I told the chipmunks about your club, and how goody-goody it is, and they hate you now. Pfpth!  
  
Patrick: Well, THIS sucks.  
  
Oxnard: (From far away) Heyhoo!!  
  
Stan: Who said that?  
  
Spat: Don't you know it's rude to interrupt? Now, once I dispose of you hammy scum, pfpth, I will rule the world!!! (Runs away)  
  
Harmony: Pakapaka (Bites through the net) I hate him.  
  
(10 minutes later, they meet up with Oxnard)  
  
Mousy: Cxnard! Are you ok?  
  
Oxnard: We need to get to fish alley soon!  
  
Panda: Ok!  
  
Ham-hams: Ticky-ticky  
  
(3 hours later)  
  
Dexter: Finnaly, we're there.  
  
Pashmina: My feet are killing me.  
  
Penelope: Ookwee.  
  
Mousy: Look! it's the others!  
  
(they run up)  
  
Sandy: Oh, Stan!  
  
Stan: Sandy! r u ok?  
  
Panda: Oh great, not another love moment.  
  
Cappy: C'mon! Get us out!  
  
Patrick: Have you tried pulling the bars?  
  
Boss: Yes.  
  
Dexter: Have you tried calling out?  
  
Sandy: Yes.  
  
Bijou: What about asking a cat to help you?  
  
Howdy: We even tried that! That didn't work either.  
  
Mousy: Oh no! Look!  
  
Everyone: Heke?  
  
Mousy: The sun's setting!  
  
Pashmina: We don't have much time!  
  
Maxwell: (Shakes cage in a panicky mood) OH COME ON! LET ME OUT! HELP! (Wall of cage collapses) Hey! I did it.  
  
Patrick: Great, new let's get out of here. (Maxwell steps out of cage but an alarm rings)  
  
Sandy: Oh. What now?  
  
Cats: (run in) Meow! Meow!  
  
Ham-hams: Oh no!!!!!  
  
Patrick: We must defeat them!  
  
Pashmina: But how?  
  
Patrick: (Slaps forehead) I thought you'd never ask.  
  
Panda: I got it! (whispers a plan to them)  
  
Mousy: As long as we don't get killed.  
  
Patrick: Don't worry  
  
Stan: To your stations!  
  
Mousy: (walks up to the cats) ahem, HEY YOU OVERGROWN FELINE! WANNA PIECE OF ME!??  
  
Cat 1: Sure. (walks up to mousy)  
  
Mousy: (runs) Meep meep! Pull the string!  
  
Sandy, Stan and Maxwell: Roger! (pull a string to open a trap door)  
  
Mousy: (jumps across trap door) Nyah! Nyah!  
  
Cats: (fall in the door) Meow! Help!  
  
Ham-Hams: Yay! the cats are captured!  
  
Spat: Bah! Good planning, but now uou must fight me! Hahahahahaaa!(distant thunder rumbles)  
  
Patrick: You'll never get away with capturing my friends!  
  
Penelope: Ookwee!  
  
Spat: Oh, yes I did!   
  
Boss: You'll pay for this! (tries to tackle Spat)  
  
Spat: Hey! (Dodges) What are you doing? Pfpth! (Boss falls flat on his face)  
  
Oxnard: Are you all right, Boss? (begins to rain)  
  
Hamtaro: Uh-oh. I just felt a raindrop.  
  
Mousy: This is perfect.  
  
Spat: Oh! I hate rain!(Runs away)  
  
Patrick: GET HIM!!(ham-hams run on top of me)Ow! Oh! Hey! Ow!  
  
Cats: Meow! Meow! (Rain fills up hole, causing them to drown)  
  
Patrick: Wait for me!  
  
Spat: Catch me if you can! Pfpth!  
  
Pashmina: Awf! We lost him!  
  
Patrick: I got it! (puts on a pair of rocket skates) I always thought I'd need these. Everyone! Grab on to this rope! (Throws a rope, all the ham-hams hang on. The rocket skates start, propelling the ham-hams faster than the speed of sound)  
  
Ham-hams: WWOOOOOOAAAAAHHH!!!!(They pass Spat, and he spins like a tornado.)  
  
Spat: What was that??  
  
Mousy: STOP!!!  
  
Me: I CAN'T!!!  
  
Ham-hams: HELP!!! (The rocket skates stop in a giant puddle of mud)  
  
Me: This is great. We lost Spat, and now we're in a giant mud puddle. (Takes rocket skates off) Looks like I won't be needing these anymore.  
  
Dexter: I'm covered with mud!  
  
Bijou: I am, too!  
  
Maxwell: Hey! At least the rain will wash it off. (Thunder)  
  
Ham-hams: Aaahh!! Kushi-kushi-kushi...  
  
Spat: Now, where are those meddling troublemakers?  
  
(Meanwhile at Kana's in a sleepover; Laura, Kana, June, and Kylie are taking turns telling a spooky story)  
  
Kana: And then, the ghost hamster sacraficed himself to the cat. The cat pounced. (Kylie and June gasp) The hamster- (Loud thunderclap, Kana's house loses power)  
  
Kylie: (Startled) What was that!?  
  
Laura: I don't know!  
  
June: Is that you, Kana?  
  
Kylie: It's dark. I'm scared!  
  
Kana: It's okay. I have a flashlight.  
  
Laura: I hope Hamtaro's ok.  
  
(Back to the ham-hams.)  
  
Boss: It doesn't look like the rain's going to stop.  
  
Hamtaro: I'm cold.  
  
Howdy: I'm hungry.  
  
Sandy: I'm cold, hungry, and need to take a hot bath.  
  
Dexter: Sandy! Can't you tell that you are taking a bath in this rain right now!  
  
Sandy: But I'm freezing!  
  
Bijou: Hey there's a cave! I have a plan to keep us warm. (They go into a mossy cave)  
  
Pashmina: What is your plan Bijou?  
  
Bijou: Look what I found. It's one of those candle thingys.   
  
Stan: What can we use this stick for? (Takes out a match)  
  
Hamtaro: That's on of those matches used to light a candle! (The hamhams light the candle but misses and sets the cave on fire)  
  
Ham-hams: AHHHHHHHHH! (Boss gets a burnt mark on his hand)  
  
Boss: This Hurts!  
  
Patrick: I can't believe it. Our one chance at getting warm, and we nearly set the forest on fire. (Lightning stikes a tree, and causes it to fall near the ham-hams)  
  
Ham-hams: AAH!!  
  
Hamtaro: What was that?  
  
Maxwell: Lightning. It moves in a mysterious way.  
  
Mousy: I can't believe it. it was such a nice day, today!  
  
(At Kana's house)  
  
June: (Comforting Kylie) Don't worry. The power will be back soon.  
  
Kylie: I'm worried about Penelope. She hates darkness!  
  
Kana: That's how I feel about Oxnard. He gets scared easily too. (Power comes back)  
  
Laura: Hey! The lights are on!  
  
Kylie: Whew! I thought we were goners for good!  
  
June: By the way, how does the story end?  
  
Kana: Okay, I'll tell you...  
  
(Back to the ham-hams)  
  
Pashmina: I hope we can find Spat.  
  
Penelope: Ookwee! Ookwee!  
  
Sandy: What is it, Penelope?  
  
Penelope: Ookwee!  
  
Patrick: Up that tree?  
  
Hamtaro: Hey! We can find Spat from up there!  
  
Dexter: I wouldn't do that if I were you.  
  
Bijou: I agree.  
  
Howdy: If lightning strinkes us, we're dead.  
  
Pashmina: They're right, Penelope. Penelope?(Penelope climbs a tree)  
  
Penelope: Ookwee!  
  
Mousy: Oh no!  
  
Pashmina: Someone! Save her!  
  
Howdy and Dexter: I'll do it! You're too kind. No, you go ahead.  
  
Hamtaro: I'll go up there.  
  
Maxwell: There goes one brave ham.  
  
Oxnard: Oh! I just can't stand it! (Goes up with him)  
  
Patrick: If you don't make it, can I have your sunflower seed?  
  
Penelope: (Still climbing tree) Ookwee!  
  
Hamtaro: Penelope! Get down here!  
  
Oxnard: Please!  
  
Penelope: Ookwee! (Climbs even higher)  
  
Stan: They're toast.  
  
Howdy: Actually bread becomes toast.  
  
Stan: I didn't ask you!  
  
Hamtaro: Penelope! If you don't get down here, who knows what will happen?  
  
Penelope: Ookwee! (Gets to the top of the tree) Ookwee? (Looks down) Ookwee! (Falls off)  
  
Hamtaro: Oh no!  
  
Everyone: Penelope!  
  
Hamtaro: I got her! (Jumps off tree, catches Penelope, and lands safely on the ground)  
  
Everyone: HOORAY!!  
  
Pashmina: Thank you Hamtaro! (Kisses him)  
  
Hamtaro: Blushie...  
  
Boss: Hey! Where's Oxnard?  
  
Patrick: Up there! (Oxnard is at the top of the tree)  
  
Oxnard: Penelope! Hamtaro! I swear they were up here a minute ag-(lightning strikes him)OOOOOOO!!!!!(falls to the ground)  
  
Everyone: OXNARD!!!  
  
Hamtaro: Oh, this is all my fault. I never should have made you gone up there!(Oxnard is unconscious)  
  
Mousy: Is he dead?  
  
Dexter: (sobs) I don't know.  
  
Maxwell: He got struck by lightning. I know a hamster who survived a lightning strike. They had to treat him for shock.  
  
Hamtaro: Is that an electrical shock when you scrape your feet acroos the carpet and zap someone on the ear?  
  
Maxwell: Not exactly.  
  
Hamtaro: I'm so sorry!  
  
Boss: Sorry doesn't put life in hamsters. (Oxnard wakes up)  
  
Patrick: He's waking up!  
  
Oxnard: (Groans) AAH!! I'M SO FAT!! When I find the wise-ham that treated my body like this, I'm gonna-  
  
Hamtaro: Stop! Calm down!  
  
Oxnard: Sorry. Who are you?  
  
Hamtaro: I'm Hamtaro. Don't you know me?  
  
Oxnard: As much as I know the sky is yellow, Hamtrainwreck.  
  
Sandy: Don't you remember anything?  
  
Oxnard: No, Tiger.  
  
Patrick: Like, our names for instance?  
  
Oxnard: No.  
  
Bijou: You remember me! I'm Bijou!  
  
Oxnard: Pleasure to meet you, Björk! (Bijou falls Anime-style)  
  
Dexter: He's having a case of amnesia, isn't he.  
  
Maxwell: That's exactly right.  
  
Mousy: Isn't that when you lose your memory?  
  
Boss: I hope that doesn't last long. (Sees Oxnard eating a rock)  
  
Oxnard: Ow! This candy is rock solid!  
  
Cappy: That's because it IS a rock.  
  
Oxnard: Do you have any candy, Crappy?  
  
Cappy: That's CAPPY!  
  
Mousy:*sighs* oxy oxy oxy  
  
Oxnard:*picks his nose*  
  
Patrick:eh......  
  
Oxnard:*scratches his butt*  
  
Maxwell:oh crap!  
  
Oxanrd:*drools when he sees Pashmina* hi hon  
  
Pashmina: Eeewww!!! get away from me!  
  
Dexter:don't worry Pashmina, i'll protect you!  
  
Oxnard: Graah! (Wrestles Dexter to the ground)  
  
Dexter: (Gasping for air) Help! Get him off!  
  
Pashmina: My dear dexter! oh well (runs to stan)  
  
Stan: Hey, Pashy. (Sandy slaps him) All I said was "Hey, Pashy"  
  
Mousy:ugh! i can't take it anymore! (hits oxnard with a brick, Dexter gets up)  
  
Dexter: Thanks.  
  
Oxnard: Huh? Mousy?  
  
Mousy: Finally, he's cured!  
  
Pashmina: And Dexter's cured! (runs to him and kisses him)  
  
Spat: Hello? Are you gonna fight me or somthin'?  
  
Mousy: Oh yeah (makes an indian call)  
  
Hamtaro: Ham-hams!  
  
Mousy: Ahem!   
  
Hamtaro: And mouse, ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! (everyone makes indian call)  
  
Patrick: (Rushes toward Spat) You're dead! Oopaa! (I jump, Spat sticks out his pitchfork) Uh-oh.. (Stops in thin air)  
  
Spat: What?? How do you do that?  
  
Patrick: It's a fan-fic! Anything can happen.  
  
Hamtaro: Even this? (Takes a paintbrush, and paints an anvil over Spats head. It falls on him, therefore crushing him)  
  
Patrick: Even that.  
  
Ham-hams: We did it!!  
  
Harmony: See what happens when you fool arouns, Spatty?  
  
Spat: Ugh. I'll be back! You can count on it! (Flies away)  
  
(Kana's room June, Kylie, and Kana are asleep. Laura writes in her journal, Hamtaro watches)  
  
Laura: (Thinking as she writes) The power went out all over town. Luckily, it lasted only 12 minutes.  
  
Hamtaro: (Thinking) You should have seen us, Laura! We got rid of Spat, thanks to the ham-hams, Patrick, and Mousy!  
  
Laura: (Thinking) Kylie overreacted a bit, but we were able to keep her under control.  
  
Hamtaro: (Thinking) Did I mention Oxnard got struck by lightning?  
  
Laura: We sure had fun today, Hamtaro. I know tomorrow will be even better. Right, little friend?  
  
Hamtaro: Heke? 


End file.
